When my son started school I used to drop him and stand there until he would go inside and settle in his class. I would ask the teacher or the helpers if he was crying and I would leave only after making sure that he was fine. In that process I happened to observe other parents and kids, some usual pattern that I saw was that if the parent was happy and on-time, the child would be very relaxed and composed and also in a very good mood. They would greet the teachers well and give a nice good bye smile to their parents but on the other hand parents who looked very stressed and in a hurry or if they were running late for some work the children would look stressed too, they didn’t have enough time to say bye and they would appear little gloomy and drifted. The same kind of pattern was there in the evenings when parents would come to pick them pick up.
If they found their moms/dads waiting they took pride in walking to them with lots of confidence and others who were waiting for long would either be looking at the gate or just sitting all by themselves. Same things were happening with Adi, if I was confident that he would be fine, he would also be composed and those days when I was worried about him, he would be restless too.
Have you noticed children imitating your behavior and trying to talk in the same way? My son mostly does, he scolds me or his toys the same way I scold him and it’s pretty much embarrassing. He also imitates his teachers at home the same way they talk in the class, so believe me or not they are our best teachers, they will prompt you how to behave and how to talk if you notice them closely. I have learnt to keep my anger in control and many times I correct myself as in what words I am choosing and how I am talking no matter how stressed I am.
The good the bad or the worse, whatever you show to your child it will be reflected on them.Our anger, our frustrations are very quickly picked up by them. I have seen some parents who are very composed and they take time to stand and say bye when their child is entering the school also when they drop them off to the bus they would wait till the bus leaves and the happiness on their child’s face is evident. No matter if your child is a grown up or a small kid, a well said good bye can reflect on their entire day. This is not much, just a little we all could do on a daily basis that can bring a huge difference on their day. A day that they can make the best use of by being more confident and happy. A kiss, a hug and some love is all they need and all we need. Whenever you are sad angry and stressed don’t forget someone is always watching you.
This article is published on Parentous.com (an online parenting magazine)