Case A: Meena feels stuck in her relationship, she doesn’t see a way out of it. She left her job long back when she had to take care of her kids. She took up small jobs to engage as her kids were going but nothing was consistent. Now she feels depressed, kids have grown and seems difficult to manage. Husband has been finding new reasons to blame and fight, he is not enjoying his job and seems to be frustrated. Meena is scared and feels low all the time she feels all her friends have stable lives and loving husband. She feels frustrated seeing her friends holidaying and having good time.
Case B: Laya is 30 years and single, she has worked hard all her young years. She fell in love and had been waiting her long time love to materialise in marriage which never happened. She blames herself thinking that she was too ambitious and may be that’s why the marriage didn’t happen. Her parents are worried and that pressurises her further. She feels worthless and it seems all her friends are doing much better than her.
Case C: Prakash quit his job long back and started his own business which did well for few years and then he had to bear heavy loss. He doesn’t have much savings, he can see bills and nothing else every month end. All the money drains in the house rent and he feels miserable. He sleeps most of the time and drinks to solve the problem temporarily. He sees his friends and feels what did he do wrong to have reached this miserable state.
We all have a strong desire to compare ourselves with our friends and peers. Coping with our current issues worsens after you log on to social media to see what others are doing. What we forget is that social media shows just glimpses of peoples lives and that’s not enough to see where you are standing currently.
We also forget that every human on earth has these dark times, we need to face it as it comes. Nothing shifts over night, there isn’t a solution written in a book to follow. Every problem is different, it needs to be tackled differently. Few steps could be to state the problem to close friends, write them down and most importantly sort them out. Find out how can they be solved in the best possible way. Even the smallest of step would be enough. Look at case A, which couple doesn’t fight, which women doesn’t have a feeling of not working after taking a decision to step down but in the contrary think about the satisfaction of taking care of your children and not having to go through the daily struggle of dropping kids to day care and worrying constantly about their well being. In case B, explore options of being single there are so many women breaking the myth of getting married at an early age. Look at your friends who are married they will definitely tell you that you are so lucky to be single. Enjoy this time, this time isn’t coming back trust me I am married and I know what I am talking about. Case C needs perseverance to deal with the loss and a plan to solve his problems step by step. Getting into a routine, following a proper daily routine of walking or exercise to boost your mood, all of us struggle at some point or the other.
Most importantly trust yourself…look at the mirror and feel the change you want to see… remember we all are social beings. It’s ok to reach out to parents and friends to discuss to how you feel. They might not be able to solve your problems but their insights can be useful.